Every story has a beginning. This isn't really our true beginning. If you'd like to know that story, you'll have to read our family blog. This is a more personal story therefore, it deserves a spot all its own. This is a story of faith, love, and desire. But, I shall have to give a bit of background if you are to understand our lives. Here goes.
My name is Krysta. I'm 26 and married to my best friend in the world, Brent. We have known each other since adolescence. We have three wonderful children. Jesse is five and a bundle of energy. He's a tough little guy and smart as a whip. I know he'll go far in life. Leah is our princess. She's three, about to turn four and is so feminine. Yet she's tough too and can tackle her big brother like no one's business. It's not uncommon around here to see her tackling him to the floor while wearing her favorite princess dress and crown. She usually does this so she can pin him down and brush his hair. Poor guy. Lilyana is the baby of the family and has a personality all her own. She can be feminine and she sure is petite but don't let that fool you. She's sharp and she's quiet. She'll sit and study things like a cat studies its prey. She'll be the sneaky one I'm sure. She's only 1 1/2 but she's already so mature in certain ways and she's set in her routine.
Brent is my angel, my hero, my lover, and my friend. He's been there for me at my worst and he helps me to be my best. I'm not sure why he's with me but I'm glad for it every day. He's the best father I could have ever asked for for my children and they know it. I know he'll lead them to be strong, godly men and women and they will feel comfortable coming to him with problems in the future.
Our lives have been filled with more ups and downs than the latest coaster at Cedar Point in the past few years. We've had our fair (and not so fair) share of troubles. Somehow, God has seen us through it all and provided for us when we thought it wouldn't happen. Again and again, our faith has been tested and again and again, He has proven to us He'll be there.
This leads me to the beginning of our story. You may wonder why this blog is called Rainbow Wishes and why I have pictures of rainbows everywhere. This is because we are trying to have our rainbow baby. What is a rainbow baby, you ask? Simple, it's a baby that is conceived and carried to term after a loss. In the past three years, Brent and I have suffered 4 losses.
In December of 2008, we decided to try for our third baby. It took us around 5 cycles to conceive her and we had one chemical pregnancy along the way. After she was born, we thought we were done having children but I couldn't bring myself to get my tubes tied so I had the Mirena IUD inserted instead. This proved to be a mistake. As Lily's first year went on, I gained weight, had unexplained bleeding and in July of 2010, I had an ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully, it ended safely without the need for surgery but I took this as a warning.
I no longer felt "right" having a chemical birth control method implanted in me. Birth control seemed wrong to me. It's the word "control". I shouldn't be the one in control. God should be. I tend to be a control freak anyway and I needed to learn to let go and let God. So we waited til we had the finances and had my mirena removed.
We decided to let things play out on their own at first. Not really trying for a baby but not preventing one either. We trusted and had faith that God would provide. After the first month, though, I felt the desire for another baby, particularly a boy, growing stronger in me. I decided to start charting faithfully and actively trying for our rainbow baby.
So that brings us to present. It's now April and my first full trying cycle has ended with negative pregnancy tests and dashed hopes. But I am ready to start again and try once more. I'll keep trying til my Lord tells me not to. Or until He makes it clear it's not meant to be. I have prayed that if another baby is not in God's will, that He would take my desire away from me but it's still so strong and I will keep fighting to acheive it.
Most couples I've talked to recently have told me that the stress of trying to conceive has put a rift between them and their spouse. I don't know why, but it seems that trying to conceive has brought my husband and I even closer together. Our connection with each other is so strong and our intimacy is at a height it's never been before.
When we tried to conceive Lily, it was like a chore. This time, it's like a blessing, an adventure we get to embark on together and I know, with faith, love, and our desire, we will arrive at our destination. I hope to keep updating this blog with positive feelings and thoughts and will most definitely keep it up in the event I do conceive my rainbow. I thank you for following along and I hope that I can help you along your journey, whatever roads you may be travelling. Take care and God bless.
"After a hurricane, comes a RAINBOW."
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